whenever my mom criticizes me i yell “it’s probably genetic” and run out of the room as fast as i can
the best moment in literary history is by far the time in the odyssey when odysseus and his bros stab polyphemus the cyclops in his eye but he thinks odysseus’ name is “no one” so he thrashes about the cave screaming “NO ONE BLINDED ME!!!” and the other cyclopes are like “oh my god polyphemus SHUT UP”
Handy summer seduction technique, courtesy of KAI:
(///[∂]//[∂]) (言ω言; ) ｡+ﾟ:+ﾟ?